you get used to it

I thought to myself, ``You get used to it, ´´ after catching yet another person staring at the gringa. But as soon as I thought that, I realized it was not true. At least not to me. I may not be surprised anymore, but I´m not entirely comfortable being the default center of attention. Some people stare, unembarassed, even when you return your gaze. More often, I catch them glancing away quickly. This happened a lot in Saraguro, not tourist destination for starters, and then probably odder still to see a young woman traveling alone. Who knits. This runs counter to all the suggestions the pundits give to travelers in regards to safety - ``Don´t draw attention to yourself.´´ Somewhat impossible in this country, with this skin color. Everyone is trying to figure out the gringa, what she is doiing, why she is doing it. Does she even know what she´s doing? Is she going to do something ridiculous any moment now that we call tell the people at home about?

It´s not so extreme in Cuenca, there are gringos all over the place. It´s as if tourists from Europe and the states are the largest minority here. In Cuenca, I can almost hide as a needle in a haystack.

A man persistently whistled at me this morning in Saraguro, even though for the longest time I refused to look in his direction.``I´m not a dog,´´ I thought, irritated. I finally looked over.

``Hola!´´ he says.

``No. No hola, no nothing.´´ I thought. But I simply looked away and walked on down the street. Because I was raised to be polite. Even in rude situations. I wondered what would have happened had I actually said what was on my mind. Here, piropos, or the flattery men pay women on the street (I say flattery as it´s usually positive) is supposed to be a compliment. I tried to explain to my professor why I didn´t like the attention - she´s female - but words failed me. Later, I thought about how earlier waves of feminism critized men for `the male gaze,´objectifying females as objects intended for male enjoyment. This is the argument I had intended to make. Yet, this is the intellectual´s approach... this is the academic´s take on things. It also happens to be mine, yet I think in a bar fight in Ecuador, the `male gaze´argument would lose. And lose big time.